poetry:
Have u ever been in a nightmare that’s seemed to come true and hunt ya,
I’m fighting for peace and trying to overcome my inner monster,
have you ever felt like a baskestball cause everybody want to dunk ya,
no matter what u do it seems like people trying to punck ya.
I got a brain but don’t always use it,
had a perfect life but I abused it,
can’t focus so I banged my head to the music,
fought for my life got the war wounds to proved it,
I living in a nightmare where my dreams came true,
no longer focusing on myself when I’m worried about u,
I realize I made my babies cry,
when I threw away my life and I preferred to die.
I caused shame,
I’m in a messed up situation with lil to gain,
point the finger at me,
cause I know I’m to blame,
its a strain on my heart when we not close it brings me pain,
everyday I’m telling myself the same damn thing.
I swallowed the hard truth and beared it,
and I swear it,
no matter the situation or what I have,
I shared it,
a nice guy I accepted being last first,
is this a curse,
a lotta words I use sometimes I get them mixed up and get confused,
oh hell
I minus well sit back in my cell and listen to these lame ass story these dudes tell.
I am not Justin so I wont cry u a river,
Am I wrong for wanting your love to be wrapped up and delivered,
wow it’s been a long time,
I never asked for a dime,
just for some of your time,
is the fear u got in your heart keeping u away,
I tryed to do the right thing but still went astray,
I understand,
I am a man and once upon a time my life wasn’t about us holding hands,
now I’m picturing u all day while laying next to a toilet can,
where two people piss and mess in.
I know u are not rich and u struggling not to be poor,
but the love I got for u I’ll dig with my finger nails to the earths core,
no weapon,
no shoes,
I’ll beat on the devils door,
soaked in gasoline while making a scene,
I’m only a human being,
I moved off impulse that was false,
a pawn that pretended to be a knight that lost.
I never knew I could until I tryed..
didn’t appreciate living until I came close to die,
what’s LOVE?(LIVING OFF VIRTUAL EMITIONS)
being poor is a state of mind,
one has to sacrifice everything and leave love one behind in order for everybody to strive,
they talk bad about me but look who u became,
a strong beautiful black woman who understand pain and who won’t depend on a man,
I look at it like,
in your hands I placed your own fate to be great,
sound like a bunch of useless excuses,
we have to learn to take that leap of faith like owls do in order for them to take their first air born experience sometimes they cause bruises,
once u understood the circumstances that surrounded u,
is not greater than u,
u grew your wings conquered your fears and embrace life and flew..
I’M NOT U AND U ARE NOT ME,
THE THINGS I SHOW U IS BECAUSE OF MY DOLOR THAT CAUSE A CONJUNCTURE IN MY LIFE..
peace the true and living
ANTHONY L.WATERS
DOC #720-786
It is me