Travis Smith


Note: on the last post the Ricci equation should of had the pi symbol after the 8,but these devices won’t save certain marks,like the one that should be above Godel’s o.The equation is composed of tensor components used in the calculus to describe how space and mass interact.

I have felt compelled to write brief article on social interaction,a subject I am not an expert.Now, I am a bona fide introvert content with my very limited social interactions.I only primarily concern myself with family and a few close friends, and before prison,it was always nice to have a special girl- though unfortunately I never really found that.I seemed to end up in turbulent relationships with “party girls”.I really wanted that kind shy sweet girl that was smart and philosophically minded,but they were scared of me and I was scared of them.
I seemed to always have difficulty connecting with most people,and prison has really impeded such a thing.Most the people in here are highly social ,but lacking a certain element that i might find favorable.Not all,just most.There are the ones in here,staff and inmates alike,that just have repugnant personalities, seething with petty,spitefulness,hatefulness,and are riddled with psychological disorders.But most of the people are ordinary average individuals that blend into a subtle background.Then there are the very few that elicit an innocuous interest, whose psyches shines with a certain light that reveals a refreshing amount of kindness and sincere decency and it is nice just to exchange little pleasantries with them.I have a very strong intuition for this kind of thing and can tell immediately if I like someone,just by greeting them.As I mentioned before my recovery teacher is one of these souls,and of course miss freckles ,as well a few others.That was the significance of the poem inspired by her,miss freckles ,describing the concern about the loss of just a simple connection that contained no other interaction than that of merely greeting each other in passing.That may sound trivial to some people,but I guess it depends on how sentimental or philosophical you are.I appreciate the little things in life.I would appreciate that on the streets.
She actually came my way a few times very recently,and I may of reacted overly enthusiastic, greeting her like a excited idiot savant flapping my hands around like penguin,bombarding her with questions,in an hapless attempt to have a more extensive interaction with her.I probably freaked her out ,scaring her off.I guess we’ll see.A lot of people say I look mean because of my eyes, I hope she does not think such a thing.I’m really not,I’m mean to mean people.It pisses me off when I see stronger aggressive people exploit weaker or more mild manner folks.There are people in here that take advantage of the less mentally abled.I respect the normal mild mannered humans.I did not use violence or aggression in my robberies, not that excuses my crimes.
well if’im lucky enough not to have spooked her,I will resume merely greeting her in passing.I’m content with my limited social role.I just see how easily these others interact with each other and can only wonder bemused.
I am more fortunate than some here.They are so far gone they do not even realize they are incapable of making meaningful connections with those around them.Pink Floyd’s albums dark side of the moon and shine on you crazy diamnd,is a gesture to Syd Barret,who suffered from mental illness,and got lost in his own mind,hence the lyric from shine on you crazy diamond” no body knows where you are,how near or how far”.
I may not have anyone to meaningfully connect with in here,but I have my family(parents,siblings, nieces and nephews)and my higher power,whom I engage in the dialogue with from A Girl and Neptune.That is my outlet for satisfying a philosophical state of mind,and prowling the pure intellect.( though my peers in here seem to think that when they see me reading or writing it Is a cry for help and try to engage me-different than connecting).
one of my biggest regrets in here(besides negatively affecting my family) is never finding that smart,shy but confidant emotionally stable woman that may have sat with me in the night looking out at the universe at large and appreciating its wonders together. I’m 100% confident I would not be here now.I would have never let things spiral out of control the way they did leading me to this terrible fate…Even now if by some miracle I were to be released,it would be to late.That possibility has faded from reality along with all forgotten dreams with dawn’s cold light.
So I stand here now,and appreciate any nice souls around me now,but will let them be in peace…I will let the humans interact among themselves,while I philosophize with Sara in the dream,in the story a girl and neptune.I would like to write a book about my experience as a opioid addict and how it lead me down the dark road of pharmacy and bank robbery.The goal of the book would be to make any present or potential addict realize the hopeless and miserable road to nowhere,and that not just self destruction occurs,but the destruction of everyone around you.

I think a infinite being would be capable of taking pure ideas,noumena,which would be of the unconditioned,and generate it into physical phenomena, by means of such a process just like that of the big bang.A set of very sophisticated fields would have been antecedent. one of these fields would correspond to consciousness, where a discrete unit of energy would oscillate between the unconditioned and conditioned universe,the brain would act essentially as a biological reciever,being tuned to a particular quantum field.There would exist a perpetual cycle , of this quantum entanglement with the brain and this discrete unit of energy.

Travis Smith
DOC #529433

Categories: Travis Smith

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