I was talking with some of my dudes and we was talking about the streets. I was telling them I was a good dude out there.Now if you was not in my crew or people I held close then I know I was someone you didn’t want to meet if things went sideways or you know.So as we was talking someone,(Chappy) said NIGGA you was fucked up just like me!! I said hell naw dawg,he said ask someone who will keep it real with you.I said i’m gone call my guy Dana he gone give it to me 100.So I called him and we talked then I said man was I a good dude out there?He said Baretta you was not a good person,shoot only me and Dink liked you.everyone else feared you or just thought you was crazy.Now I had to think for alittle bit.See I didn’t like that at all,but that’s way if you got someone REAL in your life you need to keep that person around you.fuck them fake people.So I went back to my bunk because it was count time and it was standing count at that.So since there is no talking at count I had time to think.See I sold crack when I was out there.I also sold alittle weed,(some mixed with da bullshit,even sold fake bricks yeah I was fucked up what ever to make a buck I was on it even stole cars)anyway I was out there and I went hard.I thought when I was in them streets and was getting money that since I took care of my family and friends that it was all good.NO it wasn’t I was a real asshole who thought I was better then anyone who didn’t have no money or wasn’t try’en to get some.I thought the cars,with rims and sounds was the life,Boy was I wrong.because now I know that even doe I was taking care of people I was hurting them.Like when I stay out for days in the dope house ( it was not called da trap back in da days ) I should of been home with my sick mom and my granny,but you know where I was.Everytime some nigga talked said wayz I was tha first to jump out there with that thang.and I now know I treated people I love real bad.girls I really liked I played foul and I don’t even know why.I guess just cause I could huh,or did I think it was cool? maybe because I didn’t even love myselfWho knows all I know now is it was all fucked up and all that got me locked up for 25 years and still counting.I look back on my life and I feel sad.I hurt some really good people who I wil never get back in my life.So one thing I learn from being in prison is you are acountable for everything you do.And I will never hurt anyone else.I want to live a good life.I want to show my mom that I was not a lost case.I know she’s looking down on me and I want her to be proud of me.I want to help others who’s in da streets get understanding that it’s other ways to get money.Because the 25 years I got in don’t weight up to the money I thought I was getting.I use to think that them dudes who I seen walk away from drama was a sucka,I now understand that i’m da sucka! i’m the one in prison.It takes a REAL MAN to walk away from the bullshit!!!!!!! and any dumb ass can pick up a gun and kill someone.but to walk away even if you know your right now that’s a man I would want to follow.Dogs do what ever comes to there mine.Are you no better than a dog?or do you like to lick your own ass to???
See life is so much better when you take time to see it.Don’t be like me and don’t take the time to see it.I want to say to all the people I have hurt that I am sorry for the things i’ve done to you.I have took that long look at myself and used this time to work on self to be a better man,yeah it was some work but with GOD on your side you can do anything…..
Categories: Baretta Wilford