What is it about doing time that changes the way you think about social interaction? Here the limitations are simple:
Say what you mean.
Mean what you say.
Do what you say you will do.
Don’t speak out of turn.
Don’t talk about things or people you do not know about.
Pretty simple. Everything here, from your basic aquantance to your best friends revolves around and has its foundations in one core concept, one ideal and priciple. You word.
You either are true to it or your are a lier. It is that simple. Taken out of context this can seem harsh or unyeilding, yet seen in the light of our days it is what it is. The truth.
Everything you do, all of your actions and interactions are based on your word. Did you say that you would cook, cook. Did you say that you would work, work. Did you say that you would be there for someone when they needed you, be there. Simple. Easy. The greatest thing is that once you establish yourself as being someone who can follow this most basic of guideline, you start to see and experience a different kind of friendship. One built on trust based on not only faith but experience. If you know someone to be a good person, they will remain so. If you know them to be a lier, they will lie to you. It really is that simple.
Can a person change? Yes. Is this always true? No. A person has to want to change, has to be ready to give up everything they know about themself and willing to accept the truths from outsider perspectives about thier nature. Is it a fast process? No. Some people make it look easy, but what is happeing internally usually is more akin to a warzone than a peaceful protest.
What also happens, and this is unfortunate, is that when you begin to experience real friendships, you start to also see the ones you’ve had more clearly. Family, can take a rather large hit here, especially if they are the type to stay busy outside of work and home. You may begin to feel as if the lack of communication is due to their not wanting to speak to you, but remember, they have not had the chance to experience the kinds of truth that you have. They can’t know what this is like. So you will inevitably begin to equate their actions, or lack there of to the same kinds of closely observed and speculated actions of the men and women around you in a place such as this.
You may feel as if they no longer care, but it does not mean this is true. Just give them the opprituniety to either prove you right or wrong. Then decide if waiting around for the phone to ring is worth your time. Because, when it comes down to it, you are the one doing time. Not them. You have to decide how you will do it for yourself. With them, or without them.
Matthew Newton
DOC #81868
Good points. Well said. Keep writing.