Every morning when I wake up and look around, it takes me a minute to realize where I am, how long I’ve been here, and how I got here in the first place. Funny thing is, this has been my reality for over a quarter of a century, yet even as this particular chapter of my life draws to a close, I still haven’t quite grasped the depth of what I’ve witnessed and experienced along the way.
When I was 16, I was a freshman at Central State University with a bright future in front of me. Two years later I was standing in front of a judge as he sentenced me to an indefinite prison term of 18 years to Life, which meant I would inevitably spend more time in prison than I had actually been on earth at that point. Talk about unexpected plot twists!!!
On September 30th I’ll be turning 44 years old and it feels strange knowing that my formative adult years have been spent in an environment governed by a set of principles that cannot be transferred out into the real world. My greatest challeng at this point is to remain focused on reconnecting with society while allowing my immediate surroundings to take a backseat to that.
When I look around at the young guys coming in, I shake my head and wonder what I must’ve looked like to the old-timers back in the day when I came in. It took me quite a while to calm down and set my sights on making the time work “FOR” me instead of “AGAINST” me, but once I finally figured it out… there was no looking back!
So here I am, trying to create a life of meaning for myself, while hoping to enhance and enrich the lives of those who are kind enough to make space for me, be they family members or friends. I’ve been fortunate in the sense that my family has been extremely supportive over the years, especially my younger relatives who tend to come in and out of the picture in waves that never leave me completely on my own.
I’ve had ups and downs, but the one thing that has remained consistent is my faith in God! For the record, I took a man’s life and although there’s nothing I can do to bring him back, not a day goes by that I don’t feel bad about what I did and wish I would’ve handled things much differently. Still, now that it’s done I feel as though I’m obligated to live my life responsibly from now on, to live in a way that shows through my actions that I’m grateful for the mercy that God showed me by simply allowing me to keep waking up above-ground despite what I’ve done. Any message that I put forward is Life-Affirming and uplifting, or it doesn’t see the light of day.
Since this is only my second time blogging, I have no idea if I’m doing this correctly. I’m sure I’ll get better with time (LOL). I initially planned on posting atleast once a week, but I think I’ll go for a minimum of two posts a week since I’m already finding comfort in the entire process. Until next time……..
VINCENT EVANS
DOC #285-692
The most important thing, when you get out, is to find a good church community that will be supportive and help you ease into society. Bless you!
Wishing you a birthday for the future coming that will be full of promise for your days ahead. You are a good writer, so make use of that skill to your benefit. You don’t have to write fiction; non-fiction can sell well and also you can use your writing skills in the outside world. I am 76 and married, and I am a writer too. The main thing is whatever is done is something that lives with you forever, even after you are free. I have a blog too, http://www.allinadaysbreath.wordpress.com, and you might benefit from reading some of those posts. Stay strong and don’t look backwards except to learn as you go forward with your life. I don’t often have time to read all the posts that come in but I will try to look for yours. Good job!