Self-Determination moves forward via steps,
1 Breath inhaled w/o stress is beyond the measure of that which is usually deemed priceless;
Guilt kills the spirit more than anything else,
It’s so difficult embracing the future when I can’t even forgive myself;
Words are weighty & heavy, but these Thoughts hold more mass,
And what matters is gravity-bound yet manages to be just a thing of the past;
Picture perfect memories turn out to be delusions of My Conscience,
Mind tricks the body & then hoodwinks all emotions;
What am I looking for? The visual’s so hazy,
Misunderstood deceptions of Self have apparently instituted slavery;
Self-Oppressive, Manic Depressive insomnia caused by material obsessions,
Clueless as to how I’m still functioning in this institutional setting;
It all seems so foggy like an alcohol induced dream,
Yet at the same time it’s extremely vivid, so what does this all mean?
Trying to comprehend the meaning of my mistakes,
The method to this madness is baffling, but I guess “them’s the breaks”;
Who’s pulling the strings? Momentum’s pushing me away,
So when I try to reign it back in, it all ends up exploding in a blaze;
The driving point is that I have no one else to blame,
Colorblind to Self-Denial & forgetful of my Name;
How many more steps will it take to get to the Promised Land?
Me & my Mind are partners-in-crime destroying & rebuilding this Man!
Sean Brown
DOC #1083630
