(You love something let it go”If it comes back it was meant to be)This is a line of wisdom I got from rapper/father DMX,And what this line means to me being incarcerated is detach yourself from the world and people you think love you and prepare to embark on a journey of loneliness that appears to self centered,but in reality I am allowing the people I love to walk away from doing time with me or feeling the burden/obligations to be by my side.Because in reality I broke the said law not them…I think that when I ask someone to embark on this journey with me that they may do so out of sympathy than genuinely having understanding of how mush it means to have someone in your corner who still believes in you or just knows what it feels like to have the world turn they back on you because your out of sight which where I’m from constitutes for out of mind in most cases. It’s a mind chilling reality to dwell on who’s family and who’s not,I personally try not to personalize how I see certain so-called family member’s on the strength that I put my self here period.However my mind keep telling me it’s a bit of loyalty and betrayal involved, And deep down in my heart I can say I honestly feel betrayed. Only for the mere fact of who i was,what I bought to the table.When I say who I was I mean the man I am.I provided for my family on every level that makes a family I fought there battles, paid Bill’s, put fresh clothes on there backs And far as the street code when it pertains to loyalty I never snithched on anyone!!!With that being said I ask the question what is true family???Or is it like the word love another misunderstood word that we give meaning to…I can say without a doubt that I’ve met more people I didn’t know from my environment that I have come to understanding,respect and love and I actually consider them more family then by relative’s and I consider them true familyCan you rationally explain how we go from I love u everyday to that nigga is a100 miles away fuck him!How we go from stealing candy to stealing bikes,to selling crack cocaine,to bringing kid’s in this world….Or fist fighting, sleeping on pissy mattress’es throwing each other work to bounce back,taking care each other mom’s and sister’s to out of sight out of mind to whereas I haven’t gotten an email from you a letter,a money order or a picture I don’t even know what your kid’s look like.I can honestly say that’s not love…That’s abandonment!!!I can say these thing’s because I walked a mile or mile in these people shoe’s and I can’t speak for everyone I can only speak for me,Though the hood corrupted us certain qualities I think are already embedded in us since birth d.n.a it’s in my heart to help those that can’t help themselves,I know the feeling of being down and out and having someone stand for you when aren’t prepared to stand for yourself infact it was this same reality that allowed me to flourish and become the man I am And at a young age no one had to tell me to give mom’s some money to send my older brother that was doing life in the feds,it was in my heart!I understood why he was doing life.He was doing life for providing for his family the only way he could that made since with his logic he was working for us and not the u.s government….Furthermore I truly understand X when he says if you love something let it go…because that which comes back was always with you it never left for it is the thought that keeps us forever connected and makes one move out in a desired manner,This is true love & loyalty and it is these bonds which lives forever to conquer one must divide and a house divided will not stand,As a family we must stick together and promote unity for it is bigger than one person not liking the other these seeds of hate we sow takes root in the children and there our link to the future.We wonder why we look around and see self hate it’s only a mirror of what we do in our household’s by backbiting family member’s instead of going directly to that person and talking about the issue like real family.With that being said you can’t save everyone,remember some may die that other’s may live.This is a reality that most can’t see I guess in someone else’s death life can be sparked and you can learn what not to do…This is considered a jewel if you catch it a bomb if you miss it!For a more in depth add on you can hit me on j-pay/email….Peace to man,woman,& child!!!free Lamar ealey!!!
Travis Tucker #1091722
Nottoway corr center
P.O box 488
burkeville va,23922
The saying you are referencing is hundreds of years old, if you love something let it go, if it doesn’t come back to you it was never yours to begin with. Has changed a bit. Same saying. It doesn’t sound like you can let it go. Can you? All I heard was a lot of reasons why people had to stay, not why it was okay for them to go. It’s okay to feel lonely or scared, but if these people leave they aren’t the ones for you. Know you’re worth, surround yourself with people who want to be with you. People who build you up. People of good integrity and trust. It’s not about who pays the bills etc you have to know that you’re important to someone because you’re you! What if you were in a wheelchair? Everyone deserves to be loved and wanted. Find those people!
Isn’t it better that you let some of these disloyal people go than to keep them around? You have discovered their true colors and it hurts. Of Course!
Where do you go from here? What direction are you going to take that keeps you away from these betrayers? What are you going to do to separate yourself from those people you associated with that got you into bad decisions and landed you in prison? Be analytical in your approach. What kind of people do you want to associate yourself with? What traits do they have that you admire? So many times, we go for a person who gives us short term enjoyment but we have nothing in common with them. You showed responsibility for your family, but you may have let the end justify the means. The most important responsibility you have is your good character.
I like the way you formulate your arguments…very logical but incorporating strong emotions. Write some more! I’m anxious to hear what you have to say.