Alright. Here goes. This to all the InnaWeb people. My name is Mr. Institutionalyzed. Don’t forget the Y. I been in prison my whole life. I feel kinda funny talking to a whole bunch of strangers, but see, I know this guy in here. This nigga name Topp Dolla. I dont know why they call him that. This dude broker than the Ten Commandments and cracked like the Liberty Bell. Ask me for a ramen noodle soup the other day. Shid, I told em he best to go ask Mr. Ramen cause he got mo noodles than me. Anywho, one day he told me I should do a Blog. I looked at the nigga crazy than a mothaphucka. What the hell is a blog I asked him. While he explaining the shit I slowly put my hand in my pocket and wrapped it around my shank! Yeah, that’s a homemade prison knife for all that don’t know. I even got a name for her. I call her Purrty. Cause it gets Purrty ugly when I gotta gut me a nigga. BLOG? Right off the top it sounded like a new charge or some shit and I aint got time to be catching a case for blogging nobody. So he broke it down and I kinda understand. Basically he saying you mothaphuckas like to be blogged. But he tell me its like a trillion of you Innaweb people. So I’m thinking that’s too many mothaphuckas to be blogging. Ok then, whatever floats yo boat. Hell, I got no family or nothing and Shid, it beat talking to myself. Don’t act like you don’t talk to yourself. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. The problem come in when you start to answering back.
Anywho, he even gave me a fancy new thiggamajig. It do everything with the swipe of a finger AND play music. When I left the streets we had 8 track tapes. Now I can just type in the name of any song and BAM. I call the shit Instamusic. Now I hear y’all can call a name and say do this, do that, play this, play that. Siri is what the commercial called her. I stayed up all night trying to talk to the bitch. She ain’t answer me nan time. Then Topp Dolla broke ass tell me the next day this thiggamajig only do the finger thing. Noooow you tell me.
I’ma tell you though. When he gave me this thiggamajig I looked at him sideways. You can’t be just accepting shit from dudes in prison. KnowwhatImean? Got to be careful. A nigga mess around and show up in yo cell talking bout pay him back and you broke as a joke. I’m not giving no ass up for a candy bar. KnowwhatImean? So you can imagine what a nigga a want for a fancy new thiggamajig. I don’t swang like that. I mean the nigga Topp Dolla kinda cute and all, but I can trust he not on that. Don’t tell em I said that.
Now, I don’t know what to really say to you Innaweb people. I’m kinda skeptical cause y’all mothaphuckas.crazy. I watch the news. I swear bet not nan one of y’all hack me. I don’t play bout my coins. So dont be Hacking my shit. I need my lil $9 a month. I’ma put a little trust in you though. We gonna start this off on the right foot Innaweb people. If you really want me to blog you I got you. Just bare with me cause like I said a lot of this shit is new to me, but I got some stories fo yo ass…. 😉
Categories: Melvin Robertson