While I sit here in my cell fixing my umpteenth ramen noodle concoction. I realize how pathetic my life has become. The loneliness, most of my few friends are gone. Family, passing on. Prison allows us one major thing. “Time”, time for reflection. I have given my lifes bad choices long and deep thought.
Nearly a quarter century of reflection has allowed me to come to the conclusion that I was a complete and utter dumbass. I was a fortunate kid. I could have been a success! I didn’t have to end up like this. It’s sad to realize at this late date that you were such a dumbass. I really came to that realization years ago but didn’t accept it. The miserable scene in my cell brought it back to me in vivid raw detail.
Another thing prison gives us is regret. Deep regret! That is, for those of us who actually regret our mistakes. Some stay in denial, or just don’t care.
I do! Not a day goes by that I don’t regret my multitude of life mistakes and bad choices.
From all the school days I skipped, the lies I told my parents, my family, my friends and myself. My crimes. My bad relationship’s.
My biggest regret is not being there for my children. I totally let my kids down. No words can ever describe how much I regret the fact that I wasn’t there for my children.
David, Stephanie I’m truly sorry I let you both down so badly.
One thing prison gives, that not everyone appreciates, is a chance to atone and reform.
Although, I reflect on the misery of my situation, I’m also thankful.
I’m thankful for fact I’m still alive, and had an opportunity to rehabilitate myself. When you find yourself at the bottom of the toilet bowl, there’s only one way to go, up!!!
I’ve been blessed with education, new friends, relationships and reconnection with my daughter. All I need now is reconnection with my son, and freedom. Go to: http://www.change.org/p/rick-scott-change-life-without-parole-over-a-bounced-check?
Sign and pass it along!!!!! Thanks
Categories: Gerald Bates