I am probably the nicest person I know. I give of myself more than people deserve. I let people into my cipher who I see are damaged in hopes of showing their bleakness light. Recently a male I tried to help stabbed me and I live with the physical scar, but the mental one is far more lasting. I am doing life in prison and as time escapes me I feel I am losing my humanity. What is weird is how we lost civility. No one says “Good morning” anymore, and those who ask, “How are you?” do not really care. I tell people when asked that question that I feel like committing suicide, and am met with stuttering and then awkward silence. Being cheerful in a place misery abounds is a challenge. I would long to have the stresses of paying bills, grocery shopping, or maintaining a cohesive family. I remind myself daily when I awake,to find a purpose or meaning to everyday. That is my challenge to you. Whatever misery you have that plagues your days,find one good/okay thing in it. I am living proof that after 16 years in prison, with nine more before I am eligible for release, if I can smile everyday, how can you not! I will be the first to admit that it is not always easy, but I have not went crazy yet, so there is hope. Try it and let’s talk.
Rapheal Mitchell
DOC #434-576
Raphael, I understand. Trying to hold on to your humanity wen surrounded by inhumanity is really hard. Keep finding hope, it is there. Try not to take hold of your emotions and let them govern you (easy for me to say) Keep your chin up!
Wow what a post. I was happy to hear that you only have 8 months left I have a feeling you are really going to appreciate this next chapter in your life. I always log to try and remind people that there’s always a bright side and to think positively and to smile Etc although I cannot imagine what you’re going through I can really speculate but I don’t know if I would be able to smile for 16 years in a place of misery as you said. Every man and woman for himself so to speak in there I guess. I wish we had a better system and that it wasn’t so broken or I guess not broken but built that way.
8 months I hope it flies by xo
*Blog not log 😶