Deshanon Haywood

“Survival” By Deshanon Haywood (Doug)

I was under the impression that it was an unspoken code that we all lived by in the streets. That’s a mistake that is commonly made in that lifestyle. People often speak of loyalty, principal, and law as a guidance to “winning”. I can’t discredit anyone before my time but the only thing that matter now and when I left the streets is self survival, and that’s by any means necessary. I use to hear stories about friends back stabbing and crossing each other, not to get ahead but to simply survive. It was something I would brush off as make believe until I witnessed it first hand. I ended up in rough situations many of times because of the company I kept, and I had to bite the bullet not every time but more then a few times. I should of took advantage of them situations and evaluated those involved by their actions instead of making excuses for them. My experience with serious situations in life always came after minor warnings before that I either overlooked or ignored. In hindsight I can point out all the signs of self survival that was shown by the people I surrounded myself with. I chose to ignore certain warnings from the company I kept because I thought I only kept company of loved ones. I made to many choices that benefited the people I hung with more then myself. I hate to admit that I also put the people that actually loved me in the same category as the people that acted like they loved me. I was used for others survival and regardless of what I done for them it was never a question of doing what was right when their survival was threatened. I find myself taking blame for their actions because at the end of the day I was the one who allowed myself to be deceived by what I should of knew. What’s more important is that I was playing by the rules in a game that didn’t have any……

Deshanon Haywood #672590
p.o.box 56
Lebanon, Oh 45036

Deshanon Haywood #672590 at jpay.com

Deshanon Haywood
DOC #672590

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1 reply »

  1. My experience of the streets (through people close to me ) is exactly as you describe. The code sounds great, like family and honour. But when you look at how it plays out, it’s just people using other people. And some end up paying the price.

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