life behind the walls is complicated, we (INMATE’S) go through so much as each day pass. we constantly have millions of thoughts that run through our mind. my biggest struggle is? am I still attractive, do woman still think of me how I think of them,, do woman look at me different because of my crime I’m locked up for. do my family still love me unconditionally,I think about this every day. most of us have the similar thoughts. I don’t really don’t have anyone to vent to about my fears. I refuse not to.vent to ppl in here because they tend to use things against you when things don’t go how they want it at times. I hope that I can get back on the right path in build my confidence back . but I have to say when you are serving a life sentence it seems everyone loses hope for you. they think you have no way in getting out of jail to the real world. woman think its no point into entertaining you mentally & physically because you are away doing life with out no possibility of getting out. we need genuine ppl out there to talk to in hear us out. I appreciate ms.SUZZIE JENNINGS for giving up a chance to shine on her website. nowadays everything cost money s.m.h ,we lifers have a lot to say. me myself I’m a awesome person still trying to find myself. I need some thts understanding like you reading this to guide . life is so devastating when you are serving life with no one to call no one to send you photo’s no one to really say they love in care about you. it hurts to go to sleep in know tha,t this is what it is. I miss being told that someone loved me. I miss some one calling me asking for advice or just concerned on how I’m doing. many ppl who have never been in jail will never understand how ppl lives are degrated in prison. I went from being the hottest thing in Youngstown Ohio to just a ordinary inmate that’s going through the struggles. we men have just as many emotions as women. we get vulnerable as well. I admit it, isolation can really get you to thinking alot about the past and future I think about all the things I took for granted, I had some good female friends but I always tend to mess it up with someone who has no value equivalent to my friends. I’m done with the mistakes I want just one lady in my life who knows what they want in life. I am not taking risks no more unless its a good risk. I just attended this class that this wonderful woman named {JULIE BUSBY } from Dayton Ohio runs, she has this non profit program for men in jail to help us out with getting closer to God and to inspire us to be a better man she, also. she is a charmer. she is in the mist of going to.L.A to meet up with Mel Gibson to try to have him play a movie script she written. Julie needs support she’s a single mother striving for greatness… woman y’all have to stick together but until then. I’ll be waiting you can check out my Facebook, I.G for photographs

Melvin Shaw Jr.
DOC #624671