My hopes & prayers are that you & your love ones are in the best of health. I would like to share a little of my life with you. Now growing up in the city of Columbus, Oh with a struggling mom that had to take care of 3 boys. My grandma did what she could to help out, now I’m not saying anything bab about my mom. Yes , we have 3 different dads, my dad on the other hand wasn’t in the picture at all. Well , in fact he did want noting to do with me , so I grow up thinking it was me , he seen my cousin Nikki all the time . And how without seeing me over my ant Marylin house, & my cousin lived with my grandma . My ant Peggy was a alcoholic so grandma do what she always do step in to help, so she got custody.Now my dads sister ant Maryin work down town at the federal building & my grandma work there as well, but she work for the Health department. So not to make a long story my ant don’t want noting to do with me either she use to come pick up Nikki by hunking her horn, she wouldn’t even come in so she wouldn’t have to see me. To this very day I’ve never met her , but she loved my cousin & my dad. One my mom got in touch with him & he promise me, I’ll never forget I was 12 years old & the first batman came out . He told me he’s going take me to spend time with me, my mom & grandma gave me money to have for the movies I was so happy I couldn’t wait to just see him. I had so many questions to ask, but what he do no show I waited & waited on the porch for hours all the way until darkness fail. I can hear my mom crying to my grandma why is he doing this to him, so I walk in & gave the money back & said nothing. Now Nikki she grow up with me & my other 2 little brothers she was our big sister we always wanted. So ant Marylin came to pick up Nikki she always came to get her to spend the weekend with her , so what big sis do call from there to have me talk to my dad. She knew how hurt I was, so I got on the phone Nikki said hold on I’m going to tell your dad someone is on the phone for him. He got on the phone & said ; who’s this I said ; it’s me your son Shaun. He got mad at Nikki & he hung up the phone on me , that was it I got mad & so much hate filled my heart it turned very dark & cold. I made a vow to my mom that whenever in life I run into him I’ll kill him & I mit that at that time , I didn’t know what he even looked like. But this is where my pain began, & it was number of times I tried to kill myself, I use to walk in front of cars so they can hit me. My mom use to come running out the house screaming for me , she grab me & walk me back into the house. Her & my grandma always tried to get me to talk to them , I wouldn’t I always thought no one could ever understand me or how I felt inside. So my hate grew & grew I wouldn’t talk at school only people I choose to speak too & kick – it with, but I always protected all the females. I even do that here I don’t mentally rape or physically rape females . Women been through so much I witness my mom go through so much pain & still made sure we had something to eat even if it was left covers. We never went to bed hungry, but the real problems came as I got older & all the things I had bottle up started to blow out of me . And back in the 90’s the Folks was taken over neighborhoods getting us lost kids making us foot soldier’s teaching us how sell drugs shoot guns & give us guns . See it all depends on what side of town your on , either you would be a blood or a crip, but my side which was the northeast . Greenbrier was the head quarters all GD’s came there from all cities the name was Ghost Town, this is where all meeting was held. You can see I took my mom & grandma through so much, they knew my pain & understood what I was going through . They know I was just searching for someone to understand me & to help me , so my grandma is the oldest of seven. She call my grate uncles they’re ( FREE MASON ), so we’re in my back yard they pull up . And got out they’re cars my so called older G’s thought they was the feds, because they had on military suits with madles on them. So one the cars had a Mason sticker in the window which my friend bought like that & one my grate uncles told them whoever car that is take that sticker off that car window before we come out to leave & they called me into the house. Now they yelled at me talk down on me at this time I’m 16 going on 17, they wanted my mom to force me to go to the military or army navy. But my mom loves me so much & I can only guess she fear me going away like I said I’m guessing. But I wish I did go to stand & believe in something that’s real & to server my country I would had meaning to my life. But yet I became brainwash by evil doers to server their purpose & had me standing & believe in hurting our own people destroying our communities & becoming a prisoner . This is what a G is , I came to know God He set me free from all my hate & the deep pain within me. By asking Him to forgive me for my sins & I except Jesus Christ as my Savior, so in CRC I went to church & got baptize. And ask my mom & grandma to forgive me for making their lives even more complicated, my mom work & went to school to become a nurse to help people. She work over time & study hard, so I came to understand everything about my life. And how I hurt others that love me as I look back I’ve failed them in so many ways, if I wasn’t so suck on what hurted me I could have took a lot of pressure off them .But how could I , I was so lost & them older guys took advantage of a weak young boy it was many of us . And now I’m in prison doing 44years & have in 21years, watching young & older come through here with worst crimes then I . And they have less time & I didn’t kill no one & yet they have , so I just keep praying that God will set me as He did before spiritually. Suzie thank you for allowing me share my life story with you, for the first time I’ve open up.
Categories: Deshaun Wilson