Carttavious Qualls


Where is my daddy mama? Why dose’nt my fether ever come visit me on the weekends? Did I do something to make my father disown me? Those were the first questions I ever asked my mom about my father and believe me when I say they were no the last questions either. At the age of severn I was observant enough to know that something vital was missing in my life; while holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas were being celebrated happily by the other kids and their families, I was in my first stage of depression asking my mom the same questions as before. It wasn’t until my eleventh birthday my mom gave me a different answer an answer that would soon cause me to sink deeper into the pool of depression. My mom told me my father is serving a twenty five- life prison sentence she didnt go into detail about his charges or location, she just gave me that one answer and walked away. It was then, at this moment in m life I discovered my talent with music and I began writing rymnes. Writing lyrics became my way to express myself, anytime I felt sad,oppressed,or angry I would go into my bedroom and write. At the age of twenty years old I realized how emotionally distraught I was. I had serious anger issues any small thing would cause me to go into a full rage and due to that flaw in my personality I became a danger to myself and to others. I met my father in prison last year; once i was transferred from Hunts Correctional Center I was housed in the same dorm with my dad whom been incacerated since december 1995. I we wre on the same teir with each other for two whole days before I finaly built of the audacity to ask him his name. I once seen a picture of my father when I was twelve years old and for some reaon i kept thinking in my head this guy looks like my father. I didnt want to embarass myself thinking that i had the wrong person I finally asked him his name and he said his first name and I stated his whole name first middle and last. He asked me how did i know his name and i told him I told him i was his son. Somehow after i met my dad and got to know him my life took a turn for the better i know longer hold anger and hatefulness inside of me I’ve disposed of those two emotions so that love and patience can take their place causing me to be a new man mentally. Its amazing the way destiny takes its course never allowing anything to alter the plan that has alreay been set in motion. NEVER tell yourself that nothing can be dont to changed your situation NEVER allow your trials and tribulations to halt your pursuit of happiness and REMEMBER opportunities are never given but they are chances that are taken for andvancement

Carttavious Qualls
DOC #629995


Categories: Carttavious Qualls

2 replies »

  1. Wow, that is a lot to handle or you. I’m glad that you did get to meet your dad and resolve some of the issues you had. Not having him around in your childhood and not understanding why must have had a huge impact on your life. All the best going forward.


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