CHASING THOUGHTS by Zachery Matthews

Can somebody tell me if I’m tripping? I look at relationships and listen to people complain about being hurt multiple times in their past and yet they consistently are drawn to the bad type while ignoring the nice type. The insanity of that boggles my pragmatic mind at times when I think too much on it. I mean when we’re in relationships and they ALL go bad there has to come a time when we take a look at ourselves and say there’s something WE are doing wrong.
And so I had to do some searching of my own and only recently realized that I attach too quickly and much too deeply when I form a compatible connection. I’m willing to give a part of myself to someone who may not necessarily be willing or ready to give it back and thus I run into a problem of putting too much in too soon. But that’s my issue and one I must work on consistently and diligently.
This doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic relationship or even a strong friendship and part of my problem has been properly evaluating the differences between the two in the first place. I’ve come to realize that growing up as a lone wolf has played a big part in not being able to make the distinction just as much as enjoying solitude like a hibernating bear has.
But I have to know if I’m tripping for seeing my lack for what it was and being willing to change it? Am I perfect now? Hell no, far from it, but I am stronger than I’ve ever been and learning more everyday. And so I head into the future knowing that I have to hold back a little bit of myself in order to catch the dream I’ve been chasing for so long.

Zachery Matthews #209462
5329 Osgood
Stillwater,Mn 55082
email. Zachery

3 replies »

  1. YEP…YOU WERE AND ARE TRIPPING! (At least according to an certain ANGEL!) Very weak tripping I MIGHT ADD. HOWEVER I would not mind you expounding on the merits of your job as a LIFETIME JAILBIRD.


  2. Hi Zachery, I can relate to what you’re saying. Understanding ourselves is just about the most important thing in the world (in my opinion) but we don’t usually take enough time to reflect. That’s why people bouncing out of one relationship and into another always concerns me. Sounds like you are a reflective person, so you’re gaining some useful insight into your personality and patterns. For a long time, I thought of myself as just a ‘normal’ and ‘uncomplicated’ person, but now, I don’t believe there is such a person! 🙂


  3. Love is never the wrong thing to feel, and genuine never the wrong thing to be. You might have to hold some of it back so that your light doesn’t hurt the eyes of others more used to dwelling in their hearts’ shadow, but that doesn’t mean spiritually you’re not the one way ahead. Stay strong.


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