Nicole Bradley

“When I Look in the Mirror” by Nicole Bradley

When I look in the mirror I don’t see what you see. You take one look at me and form your opinion of me. This outer shell that I wear is just a layer I shed each night as I dream of other worlds that this one can’t even compare to. When I go to sleep at night, my body has no use to the waking world. When I sleep I am not the person you know me to be I’m inanimate and laying there with no personality. There’s no smile to show you that your presence makes me happy. All the things I needed to do throughout the day don’t matter to me as I travel other realms in no rush to be burdened with never ending routines that just repeat itself like the ever turning seasons.

When I look in the mirror I see my Ego trapped in this body not of my choosing. You take one look and form your opinion of me. Yet as I sleep, I am neither white, nor black, nor weak nor tough. I am just the container that holds my character’s soul in place. I’m conscious of what you think of me. Your negative opinions and hurtful words might show visible pain on this external mask and costume I wear for the physical world, yet they leave permanent scars within my mental identity that causes invisible thoughts to reveal itself in the existence of my outer manifestations.

When I look in the mirror I see eyes that stare back at me opening windows to my soul windows that express a kaleidoscope of emotions as ethereal tears trickle down unseen because the floodgates were opened on another realm. My feelings hide behind a curtain that only I can perceive unless I reveal to you my innermost thoughts. The vibrations I send out into the universe only express a minuscule reality of my subconscious. You can’t see what I see, because I am not what you think you see.

When I look in the mirror I see a body I don’t identify myself with. This body isn’t me. It’s an expression of what my soul was given to inhabit and decorate for the outer world to see. You take one look at me and form your opinion of me. You see what you want to see, but I see a Queen wearing a robe in an array of colors, whose skin sparkles like diamonds, shining rays of light embodied with love. You try to penetrate my inner world with external behaviors and sometimes you succeed in infiltrating my mental space. But you can’t change who I am.

When I look in the mirror I see that I AM ME. I know that I am not YOU. I am conscious of myself. I am aware that I am a beautiful human being who has experienced pain, happiness, anger, and so much more. I react to encouragement, criticism, acceptance, rejection, and any other caring or negative behavior directed towards me. But those feelings or experiences are not me. What the physical world does to my physical body are not me. I AM who I want to be. I’m not what you say I am or want me to be. Those experiences mold my character like invisible clothing I’ve accumulated over the years. You might pressure me to change my morals and ethics, but my character belongs to me and these layers protect ME without them I would be an empty shell with no personality.

When I look in the mirror I see a spectator observing the drama of life. I watch actors in a play pretending to be in a world that isn’t even real. This world is what you perceive it to be, for your interpretations of reality give form to the existence that lies within your own self. Your perceptions of me are just reflections of what you see in your own mirror staring back at yourself.

When I look in the mirror I see a reflection of ME. The mirror isn’t me. But what I see is someone with goals and dreams. I aspire to be more than what you think I am capable of. This body limits me and walls enclose me, but my mind can’t be trapped in captivity. I think what I want, and my reality is what I believe it to be. The only illusions are the false beliefs you have about me.

When I look in the mirror I see the shape of my SELF. I am aware of my looks, but I also know that looks aren’t what makes me who I am. It’s what’s on the “inside” that counts. I have to suffer the consequences of my own thoughts, actions, and deeds. Your judgements of me don’t reflect who I am. You might not like me for what you see. But if you took the time to know me then you would know the real ME.

When I look in the mirror I don’t see what the world sees. Remove everything physical you can see with the eyes and you remove your projections of me. The image portrayed in your mind of me does not accurately describe my identity. I am unique. There is no one else like me. We might have similar experiences or different lifestyles. You might think that you know me, but you don’t. You see me laugh or cry and you assume it’s for the reason you think it is. I might say that “I love you” and your own experiences cause you to doubt the sincerity of my genuine emotions. The facades you portray to the world are so submerged into your subconscious that you are not even consciously aware of the fact that reflections only reflect what you see and not what you are. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but that’s only part of me.

When I look in the mirror I see ALL OF ME. I see the beauty that radiates inside and out, and everything that makes up my individuality. I see what others don’t see. I SEE ME.

Nicole Bradley
DOC #W82508


Categories: Nicole Bradley

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