Theres a packet of crackers on the table next to my bed. They’ve been opened with one missing, it’s remains spread out among the crumbs of bread and stains from what must have been labored feedings. Feeding Me?
I remember the pain, hard to forget it. Surges fresh and now more abundant sear the soft tissue on my arms. Wind, damn the wind that blows thru my window. Damn the sear and the ache and the crackers and the soup and the soap and the smell of the bed and my skin and the weight like a plate on my chest as I breathe. Damn.
But like every morning for as long as I can remember now comes a rosey nurse with her perfume and smile; here to take me down the hall for a bath. The only part of the day I fear. She is aware of the pain and the screams and the hate yet takes it all, daily from me with that stupid smile, that beautifully idiotic smile that at the end of every upset puts me back at ease. She is aware of me.
I cringe turning my head, waiting for the sear to return as her hand closes around my forarm to pull me onto the gurney that she has not brought with her…that she hasn’t brought.
“Feeling better today Mr. Garner?” She’s not really smiling either. “We hope to have you all checked out soon so stay awake if you can.”
She is fidgeting with a vile and a needle and is not looking at me at all.
“What? What the, aren’t we going down the hall?” I protest before she turns back to me with a loaded suringe.
“No, not today.” She grabs my arm and finds a vain. I feel a rush of heat under my skin and suddenly the pain that has been spreading thru my body like wildfire every second since I woke up nearly a month ago is gone.
“Holy shit!!” I scream, shooting up in the bed and wrapping my hands around her shoulders. “What the fuck did you just do to me?”
She begins to smile again, though it is not the smile I remember, in fact she doesn’t look the same at all, “Relax Mr. G.” She doesn’t even sound the same,
“Your gonna be fine. Just don’t get up to quickly or you’ll…”
I cut her off by vomiting all over her shoes. I can taste the cracker as it passes by my tongue a second time. Saltine. Stale. No wonder I didn’t eat the other one.
“What did you give me Lessy?”
“Hey, you remember my name!” She lifts my head and looks at me,
“That was quick, much quicker then the other guys.” She grabs my hand and helps me off the table I’ve been laying on, for some reason I am now beginning to remember things a little differently.
Categories: Matthew Newton