Stephen Newman

DON’T READ THIS. IT’S BORING. By Stephen Newman

I stayed up late last night watching Live PD. I don’t know why, but it has become a tradition for me on Friday and Saturday nights. It gives me an excuse to drink a soda, eat some trail mix, and zone out for three hours. You never know what to expect, and I like the unpredictability of it all.

I have to go to my Case Manager on January 23rd, to hear what recommendation my pre-parole hearing officer gave. Usually, they give the recommendation to deny parole. Ultimately, it’s up to the parole board to make their decision. This pre-hearing officer makes his recommendation, and the parole board takes it into account. I’m not expecting my recommendation to be good. It hasn’t been yet, and I’ve gone through the process three times now. 2015, 2017, and again this year.

I was stressed out about it all day, so I decided to go outside from 2:30 to 4. I saw my friend Kevin, who got a 35 year to life sentence (of which he is only on year 1…34 to go). He is 32, so he won’t get out until he is 66, minimum, which makes me not feel as bad about my potential 5 more years. I was complaining to Kevin about how stressful it is to worry about whether I’ll get out in March or not….but I realized he probably wasn’t the best person to be venting to.

After a few laps, we ran into my Native American friend, Travis. He is a decent chess player — he loves to use his pawns aggressively. We nicknamed him “Dances With Pawns”. He also is a fantastic Horseshoes player, and in fact he won the prison’s horseshoe tournament over the holidays. He gave Kevin and me some tips on how to throw the horseshoe and get the proper rotation. He taught me not to hold the horseshoe with my thumb, and instead to just hold it with my two middle fingers, and let my arm do all the work. In the hour we practiced, I could tell I was getting slightly better, and Kevin was too. Travis was a great horseshoe teacher. (At ICC, we were given hard plastic horseshoes, which were way easier for me. The ones here, however, are the real ones, not plastic, and definitely take more skill.)

Now my arm is a bit sore, but it did me some good to get outside and get a little exercise. I’m watching Caroline Wozniacki beat some other girl at the Australian Open. Drinking a Diet Coke. Waiting for Live PD to start so I can open my pretzels 🙂

Ooooh, did I mention I had nachos for lunch today? Chips, cheese, black beans, and tapatio. Yum. I mean, it was really good. I wish I could have shared one or two of them with you.

And finally — I should inform anyone who may have participated in the Microwave Pool…..the winning date was January 18th. But — we aren’t allowed to have the glass tray that rotates. When we open the microwave, we can see the piece that spins (that the tray is supposed to lay on top of). And there’s an indentation where the tray is supposed to lay inside the microwave. So when we set a bowl in the microwave, it’s uneven. Half of the bowl is down in the “valley” where the tray should have been. Someone designed their own cardboard tray, using the cardboard on the back of a writing tablet, and cutting it into a circle the same size and shape of the original tray. It works well. It’s nice to have a microwave back. We survived 24 days without it. How did they do it in the olden days??

In other news, Anja is moving to Norway this week. She is going to move in with her ex-husband and french bulldog, Banditt, for a few months, and work at a factory that makes large concrete molds, like huge flower pots. She moved back to Slovenia to be with her family for the past year, but it was stressing her out and it is VERY difficult to get a decent job in Slovenia. She has lived in Norway in the past, and has connections, so I’m hoping she is much happier there.

Anja is a bad-ass. She has worked as a mechanic for Mercedes Benz, she has butchered pigs, she has worked as a florist, a bartender, a tire installer, a barista….a definite “jill of all trades”. She was the only woman at Mercedes Benz, and will also be the only woman at the concrete factory. Lucky girl…surrounded by sweaty men all day at work!

A week from today we will get our fried chicken, ice cream, and soda. We had the option of buying up to two (2) half-gallon ice creams (which would be a gallon of ice cream, for you English majors). But without freezers, how the hell am I going to eat a gallon of ice cream before it melts? So I just bought one (1) half-gallon, which should suffice. The flavor I got was Moose Tracks. The other option was a blackberry cheesecake, which I hope I can get a few bites of! And I got a 2-liter of Ruby Red Squirt, and a 2-liter of Pepsi. There were over $6000 in total orders. $3000 will be donated to the Special Olympics. And I SWEAR, once I pig out on all that food, I WILL start my diet (for real). I don’t want to get out of prison looking like a fat slob. Or in the words of my favorite cruise ship comedian: “I used to be really really fat. Now I’m just really fat.” 🙂

I hope one of the three of you who ignored the headline and are still reading this will sign up for JPay and email me. I know at least one of you has a minute or two of spare time to sign up! In fact, the first person to JPay me and mention this blog will win something amazing! Don’t believe me? Try it and find out!

Goodnight. I appreciate you all.

Stephen Newman
DOC #90843

Categories: Stephen Newman

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