So it’s hard to realize the clear truth sometimes. We are wearing a shroud while we sit incarcerated. My vision is obscured you see. I want to believe in the goodness of people. The woman that says she loves me. The one that believes in soulmates. The One. I believe in these things and I’m not so dillusional as to think its going to be all sunshine and roses all of the time. There will be downs. I’m in prison. It is not fair that she have to wait for me. Right? I put myself here. Well I suppose that is the question. I don’t want to hold her back from happiness. I want her to smile and be the woman I fell in love with. Its not right for me to be a burden when she didn’t ask for this life. She wanted me not me gone, in prison. I have to admit though it’s now painfully obvious that I’m not even a thought. Well maybe just that. I’m saddened by this realization and burdened with the knowledge that only I am to blame. I sulk at times and have to fight to find ways to overcome my grief but I maintain. The sound of a womans laughter, picture of her smile in my minds eye. There are few things that compare to the feeling of making someone else smile. I’m a romantic and have illusions of love imprinted on the pages of my heart. It’s my mind that struggles with the harsh realities that real love only exists for some. Oh well I will just keep on smiling at the world and hope she finds me standing here ready for her.
Seth K. Teig
DOC# 304222
