The worst realization about coming to prison is that when you’re here you’re not the one thats being punished, its your family that loves you. Life in here really isn’t bad, which is why so many people come back. Let me give you a good example: Let’s say that i was to get out and I had no more family, no money, and no place to live right.. Life would be absolutely miserable. Problems would stack up faster than I’d be able to solve them. First, I would have to find a place to sleep. I would need to find a way to make money so I could eat and live. And i would get all this stressed thrown in my lap without any prior warning and be told to deal with it.
In here, I’ve got no stressors to deal with. If I really wanted to I could go everyday for a year just eating sleeping and watching TV. I wouldn’t have to pay for anything, I wouldn’t have to work, I could live the laziest lifestyle courtesy of the American tax payers. In truest definition I’d be damn content, with all my needs are taken care of. I am not a selfish person though.
My being in here hurts my family which hurts me the most. When I get up in the morning, my motivation for doing right rests soley on my loved ones, and not my own self interests. If I had a way to actually do something helpful for society, I’d definitively be doing it. Instead, I’m in prison wasting American dollars with absolutely no way to give back. You know its bad when ive got no incentive to “reform”. In all actuality, I could sleep all day or school myself for the next 18 years and I’d still get out at the same time. How is the normal “criminal” gonna respond? I’ll tell you, selfishly. Not giving a fuck about anyone else. And when it comes time for retirement, they’ll kill whomever to get the extra good retirement treatment…. PRISON!!!
#Reform Washington State’s Prisons with education.
Christopher John Shade
DOC #391594
Thank you for your honesty. Some of the things you’ve typed ring so true, but some just don’t to me. Basically, when I’ve lived with unquestioned negative thoughts it’s just been so painful. So I ask, are you responsible for family members being hurt, are you sure? I mean aren’t we all ultimately responsible for their own thoughts only? Who can even fathom what another person is thinking? and how often? Anyways, when you say you have no stressors to deal with in prison, I wonder whether you’ve forgotten to taken into account you. I mean what you are thinking can make or break a day. So I can see the logic in questioning negative thoughts. Ask if it is true. Say for instance that thing about going everyday for a year just eating sleeping and watching TV and you thinking it would be grand for some, but to me it sounds hellish and painful. Art, poetry, practicing a different language, imagining a beautiful sunset, all the natural things on this wonderful planet, being kind to someone, these are all in my mind and can make my day, even though I might not be able to physically experience them, this is what I think is grand. It is all a matter of perception. Self inquiries over things that stress me, can turn my day around from a growl to a giggle. The true prison is in the mind. Free that and be at peace (that has a ripple effect). If one day you want to just watch the telly, just watch the telly. On other days imagine and find out the possibilities. All the time attempt the kindest route, even unto yourself, remembering that when you are hurtful to others, ultimately it hurts you inside and question. You’re seeing things and learning from an experience that is yours. How you deal with the thoughts that come is your business and I hope you are compassionate to yourself and question the unkind ones. Your family do not have to worry where you are, then know where you are. Your family don’t have to worry about anything and that is a truth, that they are responsible for there thoughts and you for yours.