“Whatever the gains,
whatever the loss, they are yours.”
– Five Wounds,
At the end of my year and a day sentence I was released from DOC. Homeless and without resources. The night before I was released from the Washington State Penitentiary I stood at the front of my cell in 8 wing. It was very late and all was quiet. I wrapped my hands around the steel bars, closed my eyes and gently rested my head against the bars. I wanted to remember the feel, the sound, and the smell of captivity. In a sense I wanted to absorb the negativity of that place so that I would remember not to come back. I had to remind myself that this was not a home, it was only a respite from the hardships of life on the streets. I cried quietly there at the bars. Gripping them tightly as tears streamed from closed eyes. I knew I was alone in this world and that there was nothing out there for me. I knew I would struggle to survive. But I also knew that if I came back it was for keeps and any hope of a real life would be as insubstantial as the many ghosts that haunted those halls of justice.
I was taken by van from the prison to the greyhound station. I got my $40 dollars gate money and well wishes of good luck from the transport officer. I was headed back to Everett. Upon my arrival I went to my old girlfriends apartment. I had no where else to go. Sadly, she was still using dope and offered to get me high. I couldent. I had to try. The next day I went to see my CCO. I explained that I was not in a good place and requested emergency housing vouchers. I was told that because I was a violent offender I did not qualify for housing, but that DOC would approve the Everett Gospel Mission as a residence. I was given a handful of bus vouchers and scheduled my next appointment. Having no where else to go I went and stayed at my ex’s apt. After a couple of days she left me there with her 13 year old daughter so she could go on what turned into a 1 month run.As far as her kid was concerned it was party tim. Each day after school she invited a handful of kids over to get stoned in her bedroom and while I was out looking for work my she and her friends would eat everything in the house. I would kick 5 kids out only to come home and find 8 different lil’ shits sitting around the t.v. eating big bowls of cereal and top ramen. At one point I was going to the local supermarket 3 times a day to shoplift food. Eventually I became overwhelmed. It had been 8 weeks and I was not getting any work despite putting in 8 to 15 apps a day.
One night I lifted a couple of 40 ouncers , got hammered & contemplated suicide. I had a bottle of doxepene and I though It might be a peaceful way to go out. But, before I could decide,nmy ex show up with some random guy and told me I had to leave. So that was that. The decision had been made for me.
I found some abandoned trailer down the road in a trailer park behind Fluke Technologies. I was there for a couple of days and one night a nice lady brought me a hot plate of food. Later the womans daughter, who was my age, invited me to go with her on an errand. Turns out the errand was a meeting with her dealer to score some crack. I think that at this point I had already given up. We got got high together and that was that. Over the next 5 months I committed between 3 to 5 robberies every other day to support a quarter oz. a day crack habit. My last robbery was at a QFC in Mukilteo at 4
a.m. Despite the cops getting there quickly. I managed to slipped away to my co-defendants ride and told him to punch it. We got chased for about 20 min. before slamming into a cruiser, at which point I exited the car and fled on foot. The dog got me about a half hr. later. Three police officers stood over me with firearms drawn. I was chewed up, bloody and exhausted from fighting with the dog. There wasent anything I could do, life had run its course and I was resigned to my fate…. so I told a couple of profane jokes to the officers to lighten the mood until the ambulance arrived.
Categories: Michael Hoover