Friday the 18th was my birthday, and it sucked. I am getting old. I have had to many of these locked up. Also I can’t spend, yet another special day with my family, or even a good friend.

Holidays just don’t brings smiles anymore. They haven’t for years.

I try and do things to perk myself up. Like I went out and ran 2 miles just to show myself I can still do it. Did a little workout on the the weight deck to burn off some frustrations and energy.

I made a little cake for myself last night. Frosted it with vanilla frosting and sprinkled some cinnamon and sugar on top of it. I don’t even want to eat it today. I guess I just did it for visual eye candy or because its just what people do on birthdays, is have cake and ice cream right?

I was thinking that I might make myself a big meal or or a treat of some sort. I just don’t know what’s going to make me feel better.

Maybe I’ll go buy myself a few new songs on Jpay. Maybe a game or or two.

It just boils down to holiday’s sucks in general. They all suck.

Christmas is the worst for me. You can’t turn around without something or someone talking about it. TV is the worst. Its not just one day. It goes on for almost 2 months. Commercial after advertisement every day on TV.

I try not to be a Grinch about it to other people. Its just really hard for me. I miss my family so much. And that’s all holidays reminds of. Is them.

I have 3 nieces and 1 nephew that I have never met. They grow up more every year and it hurts not being able to see that.

Well I am going to try and keep my head up and try to be more positive. Maybe I’ll have to go do something to keep my mind off the bad stuff. I think we have Gym tonight. I should probly go burn off some more energy.

Jesse Bailey
DOC #879476


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