PRISON JOKES & OTHER INFO THAT MAKES YOU SAY “UM”

An attractive young woman was pulled over for speeding.
A Washington State Trooper walked up and flipped open
his ticket book. Wittingly she said “I bet you’re gonna
sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball?”

He replied, “Washington State Troopers don’t have balls.”
There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book,
tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.’

DID YOU KNOW:

Did you know that about 3.1% of the U.S adult population
are on supervision of some sort, that’s 1 in 34 adults.
Over the last few years on average there has been over
2 million ( .7%. of the U.S. population ) adults in prison
( County jails, U.S. Federal and State Prisons) that comes
to 1 in107 adults.
In 2007 the U.S. spent 74 billion on corrections. The total
number of inmates in federal, state, and local lockups
was 2,419,241. Thus the average cost to house each
Inmate was about $30,600.
There are 4,575 prisons in the U.S the highest for any
country. Russia comes in second with 1,029.
The U.S. has the highest documented incarceration rate
In the world.
The U.S. has 5% of the world’s population yet 25% of the
world’s prisoners!

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Since I was a child I wanted to be somebody, but I should have
been more specific.
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Q: What’s the difference between a good friend and a true friend?
A: A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be
sitting next to you saying, “Dang that was fun! How we getting
out.
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When everything’s coming your way. You find out your in the
Wrong lane.
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A blond is in jail.
The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging upside down
by his feet. ” What the heck are you doing?” He asks.

“Hanging myself,” the blond replies.

“you’re doing it wrong!” says the guard.
“Why didn’t you put the rope around your neck?”

The blond replies, “I did! But I couldn’t breathe!”
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Why is there a light in the fridge, and not in the freezer?
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I’m ready to listen, are you ready to think?
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If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more happy people?
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If jimmy cracks corn and nobody cares, why is there a song
about him?
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The saying goes “that’s the best thing since sliced bread.”
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
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Everyone needs a laugh right? Have a great day,
be kind to one another.

Dickie Oppen Jr.
DOC #947545