Jonathan Gordon


Being in the situation I am currently in, has taught me to be patient in the face of adversity. I remember a time when I felt like the world was gonna end, & that my life was over. The only thing I could see in my future was prison. I was thrown into an adverse situation, I was forced into being subjugated to a system that I hate. Yet there was nothing I could do about it. My first reactions was: despair & feeling hopeless. My second reaction was: fear of the unknown, going to trial not knowing if I am going to be convicted. Then after loosing trial, fear of how much time I would get. My third reaction: anger. Anger directed at: the prosecution, defense attorney & the detectives.

But the person I was most angry at was: MYSELF!!! For allowing myself to be caught up in a situation where all control was wrested from my hands.

I carried a heavy burden of hate toward those people. In the court system you are almost destined to loose. Regardless of guilt or innocence, if the courts want you in jail, you are toast. Sitting in county jail & in those prison cells, my mind was so bogged down with depression & ill feelings, I couldn’t think clearly. My vision was short sighted & cloudy. I felt like my brain & heart would hurt forever & the wounds would always be open. Eventually over the years, I came to realize that no matter the situation, I have the power to choose how I want to feel & no situation can define me. I came to realize that I can’t blame my feelings on any person, only I am accountable from for how I feel & how I react. As a Muslim, it is mandatory for me to believe in God, along with that belief and an understanding that I am obligated to turn all my situations over to Him to deal with. I know that regardless of what happens in this world, the final judgment is God’s.

If a person is wronged & they seek remedies but don’t get the situation fixed, then this life is short & temporary. As a Muslim, I am taught that one of a person’s most important attributes is patience & the ability to put your trust in God knowing he will help out & relieve hard times.

The years I have to spend in this dungeon is a twinkling of an eye compared to the scale of time & the next life. If a person can’t patiently bear
the drama & adversity of this world, then how can they expect to be rewarded by God in the next life? In times of adversity, we learn to be humble, humble ourselves to God. We praise him, thank him, remember him & when he rescues us, we show our gratitude by doing the right thing. I have learned that when you have to depend on other people, it don’t do no good sweat them & stress that things will be done in a way we consider timely.

Sometimes when people got the upper hand they might intentionally delay the processes if you sweat them too much, just to mess with you. Stress & worry don’t change a situation, if anything it makes it harder for you.

Sometimes people forget that the world don’t operate on their time schedule, & things don’t always get done when & how we want them to.

Sometimes we also have to show patience when others loose patience with us. For example: one day you might come across somebody who gives you a bad attitude & acts rude to you. For a lot if us the first inclination might be cop an attitude & get rude right back. For some people they might take into consideration the persons situation that they might be going through something. Attitude plus attitude can lead to a bad situation. So when confronted with a situation like that, remember to use wisdom step back & practice patience. In prison a wise person learns patience in curbing their desire for worldly things. It is one thing to not use drugs, or steal, or not fight because you are in prison & don’t wanna get in trouble, but the desire to do those things is still in you & you would do them if given the chance. And it’s a completely different matter to not indulge in things because you have honestly changed & beared with patience the urges & temptation to indulge. You strive with patient to eradicate yourself of those desires & temptations to do things you know ain’t good for you. Because you want to not because you are forced to. You learn to replace the urges to do things you know is wrong with constructive hobbies & pass times that fulfill your wants & needs in healthier ways. If that isn’t patience in the face of advesity, then I don’t know what is!!!
Succumbing to urges & desire is a hard obstacle to overcome.

Remember to check out my video on YouTube called: “From the Bottom of the Fishbowl”

Jonathan Gordon
DOC #793350

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