TO MY VICTIM’S LOVED ONES

I don’t know if the family and friends of my victim would ever want to hear from me or contact me. I probably wouldn’t, if I were them. But if so, I would first say to them it’s all about them. This is not to make me feel better; what I feel doesn’t matter. It’s them. And I would say that I’m sorry, even though I know that is a pathetic consolation. I would say that just because I’m being released in October 2016, doesn’t mean that I EVER deserve forgiveness or the same consideration as others. I would say that I am changed, a completely transformed person. And although this is also probably a pathetic consolation for them, one thing it means that because I’m different my values are such that I am fully aware of the magnitude of what I did. When I wasa kid, I was so selfish that it barely bothered me. Now, it defines me. Every single day I feel the pain and guilt and shame of what I did. It will never go away. It will be there for the rest of my life, as I believe it should be. And finally, I would say that no one should ever have to go through what I did to that man and his family, and so a big part of my life is going to be dedicated to trying to reach others who might have the mindset I had when I committed that terrible act, and try to explain to them just how terrible it was, so they might understand and change.

Dan Turner
DOC# 767569