Whats up cuz, fuck slob (disrespectful to bloods), fuck you crab
(disrespectful to crips) ass nigga. Bam,bam,bam, the fight breaks out. They in our hood up to no good, pop, pop, pop, the bullets ring out ahh cuz I’m hit, I’m hit. Everybody scatters as I lay, blood run body. My brother comes and picks me up, throwing my arm over his shou me down the street.

My eldest brother has never been involved with the life, so for him to lose it would take something drastic. That night, it was me being shot, he just happened to be with me that night. When he flagged the first police car he seen, they tried to make me assume the position.

My big brother lost it, he starts yelling at the police, he’s the one whos been shot, he’s been shot.
Even with the police car holding me up I couldn’t stand anymore, so I lay on the curb, half my body in the street half on the curb. It was raining and that felt like the best thing in the world right then. I didn’t know where I had been shot nor how many times, there was just so much blood.

I remember trying to tell my brother not to fight the police and my cousin Big Y.B. came from no where and grabbed my brother. Next thing I know I woke in a hospital room with tubes and stuff all over my body.

I think my mom was there when I woke up the second time, the first time I woke I don’t remember. Though I was messed up and ended up wearing a colostimy bag for a while, I thought I would have it for the rest of my life but it got removed. I was blessed.

I was having a ball in the hospital. I was getting visitors from all over and my hospital phone stayed ringing. I had alot of homies come through and crips from other hoods to check on me. Mostly I had alot of females come visit and call, ones I knew and ones I didn’t know but who wanted to know me. Then one day my grandmother came through and said thats enough of this and got my visits restricted to five at a time.

Though my visits were restricted it didn’t stop people from waiting there turn down stairs in the lobby, which was a bad idea because the homegirls was fighting all the females that wasn’t from the hood.

In all of this there is one person that it seems like never left the hospital, I don’t know if she even went to school the whole time I was in there. My baby sister Celia (NiNi), the nurses couldn’t even get her to leave untill she was ready. My mom lived like four blocks from the hospital, my room in St. Joseph hospital was way up there so I could see the house from my window. My sister would stay so late when I was able to get out of bed and stand on my own I would have to be on the phone with my mom and watch as my sister walked home as I gave my mom my sisters progress half a block at a time.
It always puts a smile on my face as I watched her, because it made me know how much she cared and loved her big brother.

Out the hospital back on the block cane in hand, strap (gun) in my pocket, and mad as hell. Somebody has to pay for what happened to me. Some of my homeboys wasn’t having any of my bullshit, like
Big Good, he came through seen me out there and said oh no get yo ass in the car we goin to kick-it today, you aint goin be in the hood, not on that cane. Lil Strezy did the same when he seen me in the hood.
I look back on that now and just smile.

The street life was hectic filled with death, gangbanging, dope slanging, and getting locked up.

“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””CHANGE IS COMING””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

James Rollins
DOC #732975