Broiling emotions
Cause goosebumps
To ripple skin
Cascading down the spine
Anger
The cover-up emotion
The facade
Remorseful eyes flash
Desperately trying to hide
The reflection to true
How often betrayed
Are those in the audience
Of my existance
Frightened by savage glare
Warmed by smile
Packaged cold
How rarely genuine anymore
Laughing to keep from crying
Existing
To keep from dying
How I ache to live
Yet living hurts
Hurt I’ve dealt in life
My life
The lives of others
Tainted with tears
I drew from within
Within the well of why
Why them
Why me
Why that fateful day
Why do I not have the answers
I caused the questions
I caused the tears
The loss
The mirror in this cell
Somehow different
For it won’t lie
Gazing into it
The mascera of anger
Washes away
The tumult of emotion
Shown crystal clear
The rent in my soul
Flutters in my sigh
How do I tell you I’m sorry
How do I make everything okay
How do I mold life
Out of existence
No balm is there
No medicine for my mistakes
Years of cowardice
Masked in machoism
A reputation within the walls
Yet the allure of outlaw
No longer calls
Seen naked in this mirror
The scars shine
No matter the shadow
Within I hide
Nowhere left to run
Cornered by the years
I face the pain
I face myself
And the visage of my audience
Opening myself
I am burnt by their anger
Drowned in their tears
Euthanized by their hate
And resurrected by their love
I cannot bring back life
Other than my own
Though this life no longer mine
The only way to answer the why
Is to live a life
Indebted
YET I RISE
And learn to live
Humbled
Learning to retain compassion
The positive
Holding dear the ideal
That though never purged
A life lived justly
Will say I’m sorry
Said sincerely
Softly
And someday heard…
Jeremiah Gilbert
DOC #709551
